The Dyslexic Bum vs The Invisible Triangle

OK, it’s official, my bum is dyslexic.  Every time I try for a triangle choke, my bum swings the wrong way.  I know when my left leg is across their shoulders, that my bum is supposed to swing left and visa versa.  However, my bum goes the other way, like it has a mind of its own and says, “I don’t want to play with you today.”

The problem…  I’m not going to make the, “I’m so short excuse.”  I know the bottom line is, I’m just doing something wrong.  It is kind of funny though.  I’m going in for the kill and all of a sudden, I look to my left.  My bum is gone.  It’s nowhere near where it’s supposed to be.  I’m like the cartoon character looking around and saying, “Where did it go?”

As frustrating as my dyslexic bum is, I have a bigger problem.  I don’t see the triangles.  It’s like they are invisible.  I was rolling with Johnny today, and he waited very patiently in a triangle setup.  After I moved on to something else, he calmly says, “You just had a triangle setup, all day long.”  *tiny tooth fairy (me) crawls into crack of mat to hide embarrassment

On the brighter side, I’m starting to get the hang of open guard and preventing the guard pass.  I’ve found that most of the guys try to pass to my right.  So, when I have their right arm in spider guard, and I control their left leg with my other hand, they can’t pass.  I’ve also been taking Kintanon‘s advice and trying to shrimp early.  I remember at one point, Johnny was going for a pass and my mind was like, “have I got me knee up where Kintanon said to put it, yeah it’s there.”  Whew, saved from side control by Kintanon.  Toward the end of that roll, I  found an arm bar.  Which was very funny in itself. One, because I never look for arm bars.  Two, I didn’t even realize it until Johnny was trying to escape.  I was like, “Oh crap!  I got an arm bar!  Oh crap!  I should try to finish it!”  I held it for a little while, because Johnny was being nice and didn’t squish me.  He found a technical way to get out.  Silly me, I then tried an omoplata on Johnny, The Omoplata King.  What was I thinking…

My third roll was with Chris.  By then my left hand was cramping and fatigued and I couldn’t hold his right arm in spider.  I decided to just play plain old open guard.  Not so good.  I got stuck in side control a lot.  At one point I grunted.  Chris was like, “Are you OK?”  I laughed, “Yeah, I’m fine.  That was the I’m stuck in side control again grunt.  Not the it hurts grunt.”  Chris was very nice and talked me through two sweeps.  The second one felt really good and I landed with knee on belly.

I have to say that, I’m very thankful for the guys I train with.  They are all very nice and respectful.  When they roll with me, they are very careful to use technique instead of muscle.  I know that they have the skill and strength to squish me at any time, and could throw submissions left and right.  But they don’t.  I know that if I get a submission, that it’s because they let me.  I’m not saying that they take easy on me.  They make me work plenty, but they also allow me the opportunity to learn and try techniques.  If I almost have it, they’ll talk me through to the finnish.  I’m one of the fortunate ones.  Thank you guys.

BTW, if you see my bum, tell it to get in line, and if you see a triangle nab it for me.

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