A Butt Grabbing Badass Status!!!

WARNING:  ADULT CONTENT IN THIS POST.

I think as bloggers, we are all curious as to what brings people to our rambling posts. As a result, we watch our statistics. In the past month, Jiu Jitsu Map and Heavytraining have discussed search result statistics for their blogs. Jiu Jitsu Map got an odd search result on his statistics. It said, “My wife does jiu jitsu and I hate it.” Heavytraining seems to get a lot of hits from the search “Sex Island”.  I wonder why??? 🙂

Well… I’ve been thinking about the search results that bring people to my blog. There are some legitimate BJJ questions and then there are some… Well let’s just say that I question the maturity level of some people who have access to google. So I have decided to address the search requests of these curious minds.

  1. The most popular search for my blog is “Badass Status”. It is of my opinion that, if you have to google someone else’s badass status, then it’s time you get off your couch and join your local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school and get your own badass status.
  2. “Butt Grab” would be the next most popular search. I could say a lot here, but I hope to maintain some manner of integrity.
  3. Julio Foca Fernandez
  4. My Badass Status – Again? If you don’t train in BJJ you don’t have a Badass Status.
  5. Internet Explorer 9 and WordPress. If you are searching for this, you have downloaded IE9 and now you have a compatibility issue with WordPress.  I think the powers that be resolved this problem today.  If not, the fix you are looking for is here.
  6. Disjointed shoulder. I have some information on shoulder dislocations here. However, if your shoulder is dislocated your really need to get off google and go see a doctor.
  7. BJJ finnish – Perfecting a BJJ finish is a BJJ instructor function, not a google function.
  8. Straight Triangle – Don’t drink alcohol before doing a triangle and it will be a straight triangle as opposed to a drunk triangle. (might need more info for that search)
  9. BJJ elbow dislocation – I have information on that here. However, if you think your elbow is really dislocated, you need to google “Nearest ER”.
  10. How does sport brain freeze? Hmm, you stick it in ice, maybe. Is this a trick question?
  11. Hard headed sports? Hmm, I didn’t know sports could be hard-headed. Maybe you mean hard-headed people in sports? Yes, I’m a hard-headed person and I participate in sports.  🙂
  12. Brain freeze when playing sports? OK, now that you put it that way, I can answer your question. You don’t do enough drills. Drilling makes your responses automatic. They become a reflex and you don’t have to think about it. Drilling = automatic reflexes = no thinking = no brain freezing. Unless your opponent is from the USS Enterprise, then he may have a brain freeze ray gun that Scotty can beam down to him.  If that is the case, I can’t help you.
  13. Is doing sport a negative or a positive? HMM… Unless Sport is your neighbor’s chihuahua, doing sports has a positive effect on most people.
  14. I screwed up Ok? Am sorry. I don’t think google cares if you screwed up and therefore doesn’t need an apology.
  15. Feet karate women under the table youtube. You would have to be looking for a really tiny woman, if she can do karate with her feet under a table…
  16. His butt grabbed? I didn’t do it. I swear I don’t know anything about it, Why don’t you ask HIM.
  17. Am I to old to start jiu jitsu, I am in my forties? At last, a legitimate BJJ search question. I’m in my forties and I practice jiu jitsu. So, no, with a good instructor, you can learn some BJJ at any age.
  18. Why females can’t play combat sports? Who ever told you that crap, send them my way. I know a few ladies that can demonstrate quite effectively how females can play combat sports!
  19. Christian and jiu jitsu and emergency medicine?  WTF, I got nothin’…
  20. Squish position? Any position which results in you not being able to breathe. BTW, that’s a bad thing.
  21. Rabid tooth? I have been accused of being rabid once or twice and I do have teeth.
  22. Straight jacket blog – I have also been threatened with a straight jacket before and I do write a blog…  Now maybe I’m the one sharing too much…
  23. Jeff Messina BJJ reviews? He’s my instructor and he’s great. If he wasn’t I wouldn’t train with him.
  24. Walmart train test? OK… This is not Porn Stars Are Us… Go away…
  25. Butt grab train? HMM like I said… Go away… You can find the “Sex Island” here.
  26. I want a badass status?  Join a BJJ school and train for ten years.
  27. A status for a badass? If you are really a badass, you don’t need a status to prove it.
  28. “Grabs his butt”. I swear it wasn’t me.
  29. What happens if you pull out an iv line? Well, if your nurse reads my blog, chances are she will throw a wicked rear naked choke on you!
  30. Neighbour put a nail in my tyre? Be nicer to your neighbor or join a BJJ school.
  31. Why others so stubborn and hard-headed? Are you sure the problem lies in other people?
  32. Grab him there? Where is there and why are you grabbing him?  Never mind, I don’t think I really want to know..
  33. My status is badass? If your status is so badass why did you have to google it?
  34. Lack of talent in bj? Ok. If you just forgot a j, (you really meant BJJ) then you may be in the right place. However, if you really do lack talent in bj, I don’t even think that the “sex island” will have you.
  35. Triangle a combat sports dummy? Is that a dummy dummy or a stupid person dummy? Do you really need help to triangle either one?
  36. Review fenom gis? I bought one. I loved it.  I’ve got well over ten years in martial arts and I’ve owned a lot of gis.  The white fenom is my favorite of all.  I plan to buy more.  If you need more in-depth reviews, I find that Meerkatsu and gringabjj (Thanks Georgette) do amazing detailed gi reviews.  Slideyfoot also does great reviews on BJJ books and DVDs.
  37. What does it take to teach karate?
    1. A black belt with several years of hard-core training.
    2. Strong people skills.
    3. Solid business and financial skills.
    4. Love for teaching kids.
    5. Love for the sport.
    6. Patience, lots of patience.
    7. Honorable intentions.
  38. How to accidentally grab a butt?  Well, if you are asking that question, that means you are planning to grab a butt. If you are planning to grab a butt, then it’s not accidental. I must ask do you really plan to “accidentally” grab the butt of a person who would read a “Combat Sports” blog?  I must advise against that!  😉
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5 Responses to A Butt Grabbing Badass Status!!!

  1. Georgette says:

    Maybe they meant “Finnish BJJ”– are your ancestors from Finland by any chance?

    • LOL, not only did I miss that spelling error, I made the same one! …or maybe they did mean Finnish… Anyway my ancestors came from France, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, England, and Portugal. All of them came to the United States way before the Revolutionary War.

  2. Kim says:

    This was great & had me laughing. It is amazing what people will type into search engines.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Bwhahahhahahaha! Awesome!

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